Labour plan to distribute wealth plays poorly with the 10 guys who have all the money
Increasingly, the rich own more than the rest of us combined. We’re at a point where Richard Branson owns more cars than every UK male named ‘Dave’ and where Jeff Bezos’s wallet is stuffed with minor Banksy murals.
Labour has announced new plans to spread the wealth that include giving company shares to employees. As you can imagine, the greedy, bourgeois pigs company owners are less than pleased.
Cry us a river
One multi-billionaire said:
If you people earn more, then I earn less, which seems pretty selfish to me? I’ve got a shot at becoming the first ever trillionaire. Why should I lose out just so that people can afford – how do you say – ‘enough to eat’?
Another pointed out:
What’s more exciting – people having enough to afford their own homes and put money back into the economy, or Elon Musk firing cars at the moon and accusing heroes he disagrees with of being paedophiles? You complain about us living like Greek gods, but you love reading about our exploits!
Meanwhile, someone who isn’t a billionaire said:
They’d be wise to take a bit less now before they push us too far and we end up eating them.
Obviously, no one at Off The Perch is recommending that people start eating the rich.
*LOOKS AROUND TO SEE IF THERE ARE ANY COPS WATCHING AND THEN WHISPERS*
“Eat the rich!”
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
Featured image via Flickr – Jarle Naustvik [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.