Labour plan to distribute wealth plays poorly with the 10 guys who have all the money

Increasingly, the rich own more than the rest of us combined. We’re at a point where Richard Branson owns more cars than every UK male named ‘Dave’ and where Jeff Bezos’s wallet is stuffed with minor Banksy murals.

Labour has announced new plans to spread the wealth that include giving company shares to employees. As you can imagine, the greedy, bourgeois pigs company owners are less than pleased.

Cry us a river

One multi-billionaire said:

If you people earn more, then I earn less, which seems pretty selfish to me? I’ve got a shot at becoming the first ever trillionaire. Why should I lose out just so that people can afford – how do you say – ‘enough to eat’?

Another pointed out:

What’s more exciting – people having enough to afford their own homes and put money back into the economy, or Elon Musk firing cars at the moon and accusing heroes he disagrees with of being paedophiles? You complain about us living like Greek gods, but you love reading about our exploits!

Meanwhile, someone who isn’t a billionaire said:

They’d be wise to take a bit less now before they push us too far and we end up eating them.

Revolution

Obviously, no one at Off The Perch is recommending that people start eating the rich.

*LOOKS AROUND TO SEE IF THERE ARE ANY COPS WATCHING AND THEN WHISPERS*

“Eat the rich!”

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Featured image via Flickr – Jarle Naustvik [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]