If the Tories fuck up Brexit (i.e. if they carry on as is), the economy will undoubtedly suffer. To avoid a situation in which people can’t afford food, Philip Hammond has had a genius idea: money that is food.
Sweet like chocolate
The eccentric Brexiteer Willy Wonka designed the coins. He agreed to make them for a mere £2.5bn on the condition that health and safety regulations would be chainsawed after Brexit.
Mr Wonka told the BBC:
As he said this, Oompa Loompas could be heard in the distance singing a song about their poor working conditions. Wonka looked at the camera and winked as he said:
If they think I whip them too much now, just wait until the bonfire of rights!
The original idea for the Brexit 50p was for it to be a 20 pence piece. Economists believed even that would be too valuable, though, and the same was true all the way down to 1p.
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Brexiteers say economists are being too pessimistic. And there is a chance that, against form, the government will come up with a really good Brexit plan.
So yeah – start hoarding that chocolate money, folks.
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