Tories forced to say they’re officially ‘confident’ in Theresa May

The Tories forced a confidence vote in Theresa May on 12 December. Alarmingly for the PM, over a third of her MPs did not have confidence in her. Alarmingly for the 200 who backed her, they’ve now officially given May their official confidence.

Wrong and unable

Off The Perch caught up with a Tory MP who wished to remain anonymous:

Oh Christ. This really couldn’t be worse. She’s shown herself to be the most incompetent PM since that donkey who briefly took charge in 1847. Now we’ve all come together to say we’re confident in what she’s doing. Tosh!

 

 

To be honest, I’m not even confident she’s dressing herself in the morning. I suspect her assistants strap her into a tartan suit, upload the day’s slogans to her mainframe, and then send her out the door.

Still though, it should help May renegotiate her terrible Brexit deal. The EU said it won’t renegotiate, but now they know she only commands the support of two thirds of her minority government, that should change things, right?

Right?

Boost

The confidence vote has had one visible impact, however. May once more has a spring in her step. The same spring she had when she fucked up Brexit negotiations; the same spring she had when she perpetrated the hostile environment.

So yeah – she won’t be any less terrible – she’ll just be more enthusiastic about how woeful she is.

Featured image via YouTube