Theresa May kicks the Brexit vote into the long wheat

Look – everyone hates Theresa May’s Brexit deal, and they’re going to vote against it. That’s why MPs warned her:

You’d better not kick it into the long grass!

May laughed at this, and said:

Oh, don’t worry – I won’t kick it into the long grass.

She then picked up her Brexit deal and ran off, leaving MPs to rub their foreheads and say:

She’s heading for the fucking wheat again, isn’t she?

Shredded cheat

As we all know, the naughtiest thing May has ever done (besides austerity / the hostile environment / the 2017 election / etc) is run through a field of wheat. And that’s exactly where she headed with her Brexit plan.

“Come out and let us vote on it, you silly bastard!” MPs shouted.

May replied:

Shan’t! I’m going to stay in here for another month, and then you’ll all do what I want!

“No we fucking won’t!” the MPs assured her.

May retorted:

Well then, I guess I’ll just have to run back into the long wheat until you do!

“Do you even know what you want!?” they asked. “Because it seems a lot like you have no idea!”

Theresa Delay

In response to her haters, May blew the longest raspberry ever blown by a sitting prime minister. The BBC managed to put a positive spin on this – reporting: