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UK enjoying its increased strength and stability

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
16 August 2017
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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Theresa May promised the UK that on 8 June she would bring strength and stability.

It’s 9 June today.

And the country is getting a taste of what she promised:

not sure how to explain this to our non-British followers pic.twitter.com/pjj4QXeaYs

— Guardian politics (@GdnPolitics) June 9, 2017

Strong and err…

Following the successful general election that May called for some reason, she gave a rousing speech – the mighty leader telling her adoring fans:

So… well the thing is… err… is it hot in here or is it just me?

May then announced that she was forming a coalition government with the DUP. A political party which is famous for its… strong views. The DUP issued the following statement in response:

Global warming is a gay conspiracy to make eejits believe in dinosaurs.

Leadership

Despite May having provided us with such strong stability, there are rumours that Boris Johnson is trying to oust her:

https://twitter.com/mrjammyjamjar3/status/873050868022562816

Which is perhaps unsurprising, as Johnson’s campaign was, if anything, even stronger than May’s:

BORIS JOHNSON ASKED A FORTUNE TELLER FOR A PREDICTION AND THIS HAPPENED pic.twitter.com/u8oGKPSThm

— Alan White (@aljwhite) June 7, 2017

Onwards and upwards!

Regardless of which colossal Tory powerhouse takes us forward, it’s clear that after this election, the EU will be forced to give us a good deal. If only to get away from us. Much like when a person gets out of a fight by pretending to be ‘loco’ and beating themselves up.

Although so far, our European neighbours have not commented on the election:

German government spokeswoman says it will not comment on the outcome of the General Election out of respect and politeness

— Sky News Breaking (@SkyNewsBreak) June 9, 2017

Almost as if there’s no way of doing so without saying ‘WTF’, ‘LOL’, or ‘why do you keep doing this to yourself?’

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via YouTube

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