‘Vote Tory! Damn! I mean vote Liberal Democrat!’ says Tim Farron

Support us and go ad-free

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron accidentally said what everyone was thinking on 20 September, when he appeared at the party conference and vocalised the following by mistake:

A vote for us is a vote for 5 more years of almost completely unbridled Tory dominion!

Err… I mean a vote for us is a vote for gutted public services, slashed support for the needy, and an atmosphere of fear and mistrust in which parties like UKIP will thrive!

Damn! I mean a vote for us is a vote for MURDER! DEATH! CARNAGE! A TAX ON PASTIES AND ROLLS! NICK CLEGG WRITING A BOOK ABOUT WHY HE WAS RIGHT AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS WRONG! THE END OF F*CKING DAYS!

After 45 minutes of this, Tim Farron eventually managed to clarify what he actually meant to say:

A vote for us is a vote for that Tony Blair sh*t that everyone is obviously completely sick of.

Farron spent the rest of his speech attempting to appeal to centre-ground politicians in the Labour Party.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Having observed the mass exodus of voters to the SNP, the Greens, UKIP, and Corbyn’s Labour, Farron has assessed the political landscape and decided that what people are crying out for is a return to the centrist, business-as-usual politics that they’ve all quite obviously fled from.

Many noticed that Farron was also very animated during his speech – allegedly because he was worried about people using face-recognition software to identify that he was once part of a Conservative-led government.

screen-shot-2016-09-21-at-11-36-10-min

These worries ended up being unfounded, however, as it turns out that when you type ‘Tim Farron’ into Google, you are offered the message:

Did you mean to search for someone else? Like anyone else? Seriously – life is short – don’t waste it on this.

Obviously, these are all serious blows for Farron in a week in which he was compared to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

By himself.

But the real question isn’t whether or not Farron can be the British Trudeau. It’s whether or not he’s even pulling off being the British Tim Farron.

And if he is, is that a good thing?

Because he certainly hasn’t come out against forming another coalition with the Conservatives.

Featured and in-story images via Youtube

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed