Dazed Bill Clinton seen repetitively muttering ‘Corbyn’s the maddest guy in the room’

With Hillary Clinton’s defeat by an over-filled cheese toastie in a suit, it became apparent to everyone that ‘business as usual politics’ was dead.

And not just dead. Cremated, too. The ashes swept up and fired into the nearest black hole.

Clinton’s husband and former President Bill Clinton was particularly surprised. Especially as events so comprehensively contradicted something he had said in this private conversation from Wikileaks:

When David Cameron thumped him in the election, they reached the interesting conclusion that they lost because they hadn’t moved far left enough, and so they went out and practically got a guy off the street to be the leader of the British Labour party.

But what that is reflective of – the same thing happened in the Greek election – when people feel they’ve been shafted and they don’t expect anything to happen anyway, they just want the maddest person in the room to represent them.

The episode

What Billy failed to predict was that the “maddest” people in the room were actually the ones predicting that what people wanted was more of the same. More disparity. More institutional racism. More war. More greed. More lies.

The people will, of course, get all that and then some with Trump. But at least they’ll get to spite the f*ckers who pretended to represent them in the meantime. Or at least they may get to feel like that for a spell anyway. Briefly. Before reality crashes back over them like the final cold wave on a shipwreck.

Read on...

And this is why Bill Clinton became stuck in some sort of loop. Wandering around his empty palace of entitlement, muttering the same phrase over and over:

He’s the maddest guy in the room. Jeremy Corbyn. Maddest guy in the room. Corbyn they call him. He’s the maddest guy in the room. Jeremy Corbyn. Maddest guy in the room.

Home and away

And this instance of ‘moderate’ psychosis wasn’t limited to the USA, as the Blairites’ own John McTernan also suffered an episode. This was him before we all realised that the polls had, once more, got it completely wrong:


Because McTernan hadn’t only convinced himself that the dragon of neoliberalism was going to stir from its decade-long slumber. He’d convinced himself it would sweep him up on its back and engulf all his enemies in fire.

But Clinton lost.

And McTernan snapped.

Which is why he later turned up in a branch of McDonald’s, naked, screaming at anyone who would listen:


And if you think these accounts of moderate meltdowns are terrifying enough, bear in mind we still have no idea how Tony Blair has reacted yet.

So be wary.

Because business-class politics is dying, and you wouldn’t want to get caught up in the death throes.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed