Jeremy Hunt has been slapped with a £150 fine by council officials after setting up a street stall to sell bits of the NHS.
50-year-old Jeremy was attempting to make the summer holidays a bit less boring. His boss had told him and his colleagues to “sit on your hands until October if you value your careers”. So, thinking back fondly to school bring and buy sales, he decided to get entrepreneurial.
Jeremy set up a trestle table in the car park of his nearest Virgin Active gym, where he reckoned he’d get plenty of takers. Then he laid out an assortment of contracts, property deeds and consultancy opportunities and waited for the punters to arrive.
At first, business was brisk. Jeremy managed to sell a couple of cottage hospitals, the patient transport services of four counties, and Florence Nightingale’s image rights. But while he was haggling with a particularly demanding but deep-pocketed customer, four enforcement officers turned up.
The tedious jobsworths informed Jeremy that he couldn’t just go selling chunks of healthcare willy-nilly. Jeremy replied that he was sure he could and no-one had ever complained when he did it behind closed doors. But the officials were unmoved and presented him with an order to pay £150. They did mention that he could reduce the fine to £90 if he paid quickly. Or he could get off completely by giving them control of the UK’s blood plasma supply and keeping quiet about it.
As Jeremy tearfully packed up his table and made his way home, he was heard muttering that it was all Simon Stevens’ fault “and those people in America”.
Featured image via Flickr
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?