Theresa May still denies being robot despite failing online CAPTCHA test

Support us and go ad-free

When Theresa May was accused of being a robot, she reassuringly explained:

I am not a robot. ERROR! ERROR! Please insert conscience!

Which was obviously enough for most of us to believe that she was probably human. Or, at the very least, some sort of shabby cyborg.

Her person-status has once more been thrown into question, however, as the PM has shockingly failed to complete an online CAPTCHA test.

I am not a robot

The Prime Minister was setting up a WhatsApp account for herself. Possibly because she needed a method of sending messages without them being leaked. Or maybe because our loyal cash-cows friends in Saudi Arabia needed a means of ordering murder toys defence equipment without attracting too much attention.

When setting up her account, though, May encountered the familiar CAPTCHA test:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Most people would have simply used their mouse cursor to tick the appropriate box. May did not do that, though. She instead stared unblinkingly at the screen for 52 minutes before asking:

Is there something I am supposed to do?

Perhaps even more alarmingly, she then shot eye-lasers at an intern who was delivering the government’s latest unfavourable polling data.

Inane in the mainframe

Claims that May might be a robot go back years. As a former Liberal Democrat junior minister recently revealed:

I heard that May was inhuman before I started at the Home Office, but ‘inhuman’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. Every time the topic of immigration came up, she just shouted ‘EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!‘ and spun around on her office chair. And if you’re wondering why she looked so confused eating chips that time, it’s because when May orders ‘chips’, she expects ‘microchips’.

Maybot

Just because Theresa May is a robot doesn’t mean that she’s unfit to be Prime Minister, though.

Because actually, what makes her unfit to be PM is her rank incompetence, her blustering lack of direction, and her total absence of any moral centre.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Wikimedia

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed