Whether you voted to Remain or Leave, I think we can all agree on one thing: that this period – the period right now – when we still don’t know what Brexit will entail and every day is a confused repeat of the last – is pretty fantastic.
As such, Theresa May has called for a two-year Brexit extension. In her own words to:
KEEP THIS FLIPPING PARTY GOING, MOTHER FUDGERS! WOO! LET’S MAINTAIN THIS SHINDIG COMMENCING!
We spoke to some people from across the political spectrum to find out what they thought:
Boland Tump – 49 – Hardcore Hard Brexiteer
EVERY SECOND THAT WE SPEND IN THE EU IS AN OUTRAGE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF UNTIL WE’VE COMPLETED THE ARBITRARY STEP I’VE DECIDED WILL FILL THE VAST HOLE INSIDE OF ME!?
Ellesabeth Fizzy-Pye – 39 – Hardcore Remain
Every second that we spend talking about not staying in the EU is an outrage! I feel like these Northerners will rethink their position when they realise they’ll need a visa to visit Florence in future! Vince Cable could be Prime Minister!
Karen Donnelly – 25 – Remain Voter/Brexit Accepter
This still sounds terrible, but I suppose it gives us time to make it less terrible? Which is something. I guess? Ugh.
Benny Hull – 32 – Can’t Remember How He Voted
Why are we still talking about it? They promised me that the vote would decide it one way or the other! WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT IT!? DID NO ONE HAVE A PLAN!? STOP MAKING ME TALK ABOUT IT!!!
Of course, there is a chance we could just keep renewing our EU membership every two years. This would obviously bring us all the benefits of being in the EU. And it would also allow the more nationalistic Brexiteers to carry on feeling like the joy they will never experience in their bitter hearts is but a mere two years away.
Although obviously we probably can’t do that, as it would require negotiating. And our negotiating team is currently staffed by David ‘Dave’ Davis, some zero-hour contract teenagers, and the few trained negotiators who haven’t signed off with stress yet.
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?