Katie Hopkins enjoying her new life as a bitter, jobless has-been
The allegedly once popular hate-monger Katie Hopkins has lost her job with Mail Online. Because even though the news organisation has historic ties to Adolf Hitler, it ultimately decided that Hopkins was a bit much.
But what’s next for the maestro of malice?
https://twitter.com/hourlyterrier/status/935236854160478208
Nobody
The former columnist now spends her days at home – surrounded by copies of the book she’ll never sell. She told Off The Perch:
Being an unemployed nobody isn’t all bad. It gives me more time to spend on my hobbies – like pulling the wings of flies and shouting at cyclists who pass my house – hoping that one of them will fall off their bike.
It can be challenging, though. You see, I’ve developed a condition called chronic-bileosis. It causes the bile to build up within me. And unless I let it out at regular intervals, I’ll explode.
Hopkins demonstrated this by getting up to hurl insults at a squirrel in her back garden. “I hope you get AIDS and die, you furry cunt,” she shouted at the oblivious creature. “I hope your children get lawn-mowered and pissed on.”
Read on...
The end
Having exorcised the hatred within herself, the washed-up shite-flinger sat back down – a haunted look on her face. “What have I become?” she asked. “What have I become!?”
“Nobody, Katie,” we told her. “You’ve become a nobody.”
Hopkins attempted to say something controversial to court attention, but her words might as well have been white noise.
We left her like that, anyway – shouting empty obscenities into the wind like an overthrown despot.
And we never thought of her again.
Get Involved!
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
Featured image via YouTube
We know everyone is suffering under the Tories - but the Canary is a vital weapon in our fight back, and we need your support
The Canary Workers’ Co-op knows life is hard. The Tories are waging a class war against us we’re all having to fight. But like trade unions and community organising, truly independent working-class media is a vital weapon in our armoury.
The Canary doesn’t have the budget of the corporate media. In fact, our income is over 1,000 times less than the Guardian’s. What we do have is a radical agenda that disrupts power and amplifies marginalised communities. But we can only do this with our readers’ support.
So please, help us continue to spread messages of resistance and hope. Even the smallest donation would mean the world to us.
