Don’t trust Labour on Brexit, warns Boris ‘bus-truths’ Johnson

Boris Johnson's bus truths
John Shafthauer

After leaving the Tories to stew in the mess they made for themselves for a few years, Labour has finally cobbled together a Brexit plan. The announcement has not gone smoothly, however, as Britain’s most trustworthy man has warned of potential foul play:

Reliably Boris

The insinuation is that Labour’s plan betrays what people voted for. Although it’s difficult to confidently say what that was, beyond ticking a box with the word ‘YES’ next to it.

Boris & Co are in a good position to argue that Labour doesn’t have a clue, though, as the right has spent the last two years proving how competent and trustworthy it is. Highlights of that period of ultra-proficiency include:

  • Calling a snap election, but not actually planning for it so no one could say they had an unfair advantage over Labour.
  • Allowing Jeremy Hunt to carry on saying and doing things.
  • Showing they look out for the unfortunate by employing Toby Young – a man who would be unemployable anywhere else.
  • Proving that Jeremy Corbyn was a spy who worked for James Bond’s archenemies SPECTRE.
  • Countering the idea that no one likes the Tories by paying people to go online and pretend that’s not true.

What dreams may come

Just today, Boris said wearily:

one day we’ll be sitting here not talking about Brexit, it’s going to be fantastic

Many have argued that, if anyone shouldn’t be allowed to forget Brexit, it’s Boris Johnson. Which is why Labour has announced that, should it be elected into government, it will be changing his name by deed poll to ‘Brexit Johnson’.

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Featured image via Wikimedia – Chris Sampson (image was altered) / Wikimedia – Mohan (image was altered)

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John Shafthauer