Corbyn’s poppy criticised for not being visible from space

Britain from space
Support us and go ad-free

The International Space Station has confirmed what we all feared. Namely that Jeremy Corbyn’s poppy – true to form – could not be seen from space. As such, the lessons of the WWI Centenary have not been learned, and the military-industrial complex has no choice but to continue.

Thanks a lot, Jez.

Poppy wars

Tony Blair – who knows how to honour veterans more than anyone – had the biggest poppy. When asked how he’d painted such a colossal remembrance symbol, he looked down at his blood-soaked hands and said:

It won’t wash off, so I might as well get some use out of it.

He also defended his record in Iraq:

If people like me didn’t start wars, we wouldn’t even have any veterans. Without them, whose memory would we invoke to push for more war?

Peace in Europe

Many felt incredibly moved by the images of Germany and France’s leaders coming together without murdering one another:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

After doing a bit of digging, however, Off The Perch has discovered something alarming. It seems that although there hasn’t been much conflict in mainland Europe or the US, the West has been doing a lot of wars abroad.

So we haven’t so much enacted peace as exported war.

Still, though, I’m sure all the young lads we shipped off to die 100 years ago would be pleased to know we only blow up foreign children now.

Never again indeed.

Unless there’s money to be made, obviously.

In which case – of course – again.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via European Space Agency – Wikimedia (IMAGES WERE ALTERED)

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed