The European Research Group (ERG) thought it had the numbers to overthrow Theresa May. Despite the fact she’s less popular than a hot dog made of actual dogs right now, it turned out it couldn’t. This forced several ERG members to appear in public.
They probably should have stayed in their coffins.
Sucks to be them
Headed by Jacob Rees-Mogg (a former Doctor Who villain and current MP), ERG members appeared before several journalists. During the briefing, they promised:
No-deal Brexit will be best for the cattle of Great Britain! It will also be good for livestock and fishing.
At this point, a journalist asked:
Who are you referring to when you say ‘cattle’? And forgive me if I’m mistaken, but are you all vampires?
Following some nervous looks between the pale, old men, ERG member Lord Dracula took the microphone and said:
He covered his mouth as he spoke, prompting several people to shout, “show us your teeth!” Lord Dracula refused, and accused the gathered “cattle” of being:
Dracula then transmogrified into a bat and bit the faces of several prominent journalists.
Stand up and be counted
Following the ERG conference, people are starting to question if a cabal of decrepit old vampires really does have the best interests of ordinary Britons at heart.
If you’d like to know the answer to that question, please see the ‘Get Involved’ section below.
Featured image via YouTube
We need your help ...
The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.
Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.
We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.
Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?