Theresa May kicks the Brexit vote into the long wheat

Field of wheat
Support us and go ad-free

Look – everyone hates Theresa May’s Brexit deal, and they’re going to vote against it. That’s why MPs warned her:

You’d better not kick it into the long grass!

May laughed at this, and said:

Oh, don’t worry – I won’t kick it into the long grass.

She then picked up her Brexit deal and ran off, leaving MPs to rub their foreheads and say:

She’s heading for the fucking wheat again, isn’t she?

Shredded cheat

As we all know, the naughtiest thing May has ever done (besides austerity / the hostile environment / the 2017 election / etc) is run through a field of wheat. And that’s exactly where she headed with her Brexit plan.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

“Come out and let us vote on it, you silly bastard!” MPs shouted.

May replied:

Shan’t! I’m going to stay in here for another month, and then you’ll all do what I want!

“No we fucking won’t!” the MPs assured her.

May retorted:

Well then, I guess I’ll just have to run back into the long wheat until you do!

“Do you even know what you want!?” they asked. “Because it seems a lot like you have no idea!”

Theresa Delay

In response to her haters, May blew the longest raspberry ever blown by a sitting prime minister. The BBC managed to put a positive spin on this – reporting:

DEFIANT PM REFUSES TO BACK DOWN

A headline which should have read:

USELESS FUCKING IDIOT WON’T STOP

Featured image via pixabay (IMAGE WAS ALTERED)

Support us and go ad-free

Get involved

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us