Signs to warn motorists that Royals may be driving in the area

Roadside warning sign with a crown on it
John Shafthauer

On Thursday 17 January, the 97-year-old Prince Philip had a car accident. According to the Daily Mail, the only person capable of asking him to stop driving is the Queen. As such, the rest of the country has little option but to just be wary.

WARNING!

New signs going up around the country will warn that Royals may be operating in the area. One traffic officer told us:

Ageing royals present a unique threat to drivers. They could come out of the bushes in a horse and carriage; they could be on the wrong side of the road on an armoured giraffe. In one instance, the Duke of Gammonbury dropped from the sky in a partially-decommissioned bi-plane he’d lifted from the aeronautical museum.

He went on to say:

This time of year is particularly bad. The last of the boozy Christmas pudding is dissolving in their systems, and the cold weather means they’ll have the heating turned up to the max.

When asked what drivers could do to avoid this menace, the officer advised motorists to:

Move anywhere that Royals avoid – like the North, or the job centre.

Powerless

There is, sadly, nothing we can do to stop old Royals driving. Other than – you know – just stopping them.

Featured image via Pixabay / Pixabay / Pixnio

Get involved

Since you're here ...

We know you don't need a lecture. You wouldn't be here if you didn't care.
Now, more than ever, we need your help to challenge the rightwing press and hold power to account. Please help us survive and thrive.

The Canary Support