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Support grows for Tony Blair to ‘f*ck off and intervene himself’

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
12 April 2018
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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Whenever there’s a sniff of war, Tony Blair appears like Pennywise the Clown to whisper sweet war-mongerings into the ear of anyone who’ll listen.

https://twitter.com/hourlyterrier/status/984394915340869638

This time, however, people are asking a very pertinent question. Namely:

If you want war so much, Tony, why don’t you fuck off and wage it yourself?

Disgraced and disgraceful

Anyone with half a brain knows that the Iraq war was a disaster. People with less than half a brain know that. There are probably single celled organisms with no brains that know it!

And it wasn’t an inevitable disaster either. Because it was sold to us on what can only be politely referred to as ‘total, total bollocks’.

The investigation into it by John Chilcot concluded that:

Tony Blair is a malicious and manipulative horror-puppet who sold us a fake war to impress his friend George Bush – a world famous idiot and shitehawk.

Despite being publicly disgraced for his record on military matters, Blair still sees fit to give his opinion on military matters.

This is like Sepp Blatter giving advice on ethical business practices. It’s like that co-worker who got caught wanking in the toilets lecturing you on social etiquette! IT’S LIKE TONY “WAR BASTARD” BLAIR TELLING PEOPLE TO START ANOTHER BASTARDING WAR!!!

Kickstart 

Rather than waiting for Blair to fight for his own warped principles, people are crowd-funding a plane ticket for him. The first attempt on Kickstarter had to be cancelled though, as people incorrectly thought they were paying to kick him.

Some centrists have questioned the benefit of sending an ageing disgrace into the world’s most confusing and rampant warzones.

Which is good – because it shows they’re becoming self-aware – and realising that SOMETIMES INTERVENTION ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Chatham House – Flickr

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