Johnson accuses Downing Street of using subterfuge to thwart his coup

Boris Johnson saying: "They're playing dirty? But that was my plan!"
Support us and go ad-free

Boris Johnson has been working against Theresa May’s government since she took power. He now seems poised to make his run for the leadership, but he failed to predict one thing. Namely that signposting his coup for two years would give Downing Street 24 months to prepare for it.

Although to be fair, no one could have predicted this government would be prepared for something.

Johnsonology

We spoke to the UK’s leading Johnson observer to find out what’s going through the former foreign secretary’s mind:

There are two main schools of thought on Johnson. Some say he’s a buffoon; others think he’s a Machiavellian genius. I subscribe to a third school. This school acknowledges he’s always scheming while simultaneously recognising his plans are usually shit, and that he primarily skates by on privilege and connections.

Fools meander in

Johnson could have spent the past two years making allies and formulating an actual Brexit plan. Instead, he spent them:

  • Rutting like a hog.
  • Pissing off half the Conservative Party.
  • Not coming up with a Brexit plan.
  • More rutting.
  • More not coming up with a plan.

As such, he’s made it easy for May to counter his coup. And let’s just repeat that, because it means Boris Johnson – the alleged heir to Churchill – has prepared for two years only to find he can’t even challenge Theresa May – a prime minister so weak that she isn’t allowed to fire rogue ministers without their permission.

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

So remember, although Johnson pretends to be dumber than he is, that doesn’t mean he’s as clever as he thinks.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Chatham House – Flickr [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

Support us and go ad-free

Do your bit for independent journalism

Did you know that less than 1.5% of our readers contribute financially to The Canary? Imagine what we could do if just a few more people joined our movement to achieve a shared vision of a free and fair society where we nurture people and planet.

We need you to help out, if you can.

When you give a monthly amount to fund our work, you are supporting truly independent journalism. We hold power to account and have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence the counterpoint to the mainstream.

You can count on us for rigorous journalism and fearless opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right wing mainstream media.

In return you get:

  • Advert free reading experience
  • Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
  • 20% discount from our shop

 

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed