Guernica declared ‘worthless’ after Theresa May writes her Chequers plan on it

When Theresa May first announced her Chequers plan, the Brexiteers said they hated it. EU ministers said they wouldn’t accept it, and her supporters just kind of shrugged and said:

Oh, go on then.

Now, in a surprise no one could see coming, the EU has said it won’t accept it. As such, the Chequers plan isn’t worth the paper it’s written on – a point May tried to counter by finding some more expensive paper.

Predictably, her actions have only served to make a priceless piece of art worthless.

Guernica

Guernica was painted by Pablo Picasso in response to the Nazi bombing of a Basque town in the Spanish Civil War. May heard it was on display in a Salzburg art gallery and saw her chance. One onlooker said:

She just ran up to it with a permanent marker. Security tried to stop her, but she had these weird dance move no one could wrap their head around. I’m not sure if it was agility on her part or embarrassment on the guards’, but she sidled past them like a mechanical crab.

When she got to the painting she shouted, ‘Call my plan valueless, will you!?’ She then wrote the entire Chequers proposal on it.

It read ‘BREXIT MEANS BREXIT’.

Spoiled goods

Art historians have said Guernica is now “worthless”. Although it would be quite easy to remove the graffiti, one expert said:

Even if it was removed, we’d still know it had been tainted by this dog’s dinner of a strategy.

May has described the response as a “negotiating tactic”. It’s unclear how she knows what a “negotiating tactic” looks like, as she’s never used one herself.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Wikimedia / SFTextures – Free Copy [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]