The Irish border issue has been described as an ‘impossible problem’. Theresa May has been described as a ‘useless politician’. As such, who could be better suited to solve the greatest political question of our time?
The glaring duds of May
When she first heard talk of a border and people possibly wanting to cross it, May fell back on an old favourite of hers. She sent a load of vans up to Ireland with ‘GO HOME!’ written on them. The problem was everyone was already home – they just wanted to exchange goods without checks.
After several months of staring at a blank wall, May came up with another solution:
When asked what sort of technology, May clarified:
When asked how it would work, she explained:
Despite her best efforts, this obviously well-thought-out tech has failed to materialise. According to the tabloids, this is because Remainers failed to believe in it hard enough. Obviously.
Just this week, May had another series of brain waves:
Ireland… leprechauns… rainbows… pot of gold!
The PM intends to use the gold we uncover to buy a genie. She later denied this plan was just more ‘wishful thinking’ – claiming she hardly put any thought in at all.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
We need your help to keep speaking the truth
Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.
Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.
We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.
In return, you get:
* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop
Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.
With your help we can continue:
* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do
We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?