DUP deal the ‘most stable’ option, says David ‘Stability McStrongface’ Cameron

DUP deal David Cameron OTP
John Shafthauer

Theresa May is famous for pioneering the dual virtues of strength and stability. But she wasn’t the inventor of these sacred British ideals. Because that distinction goes to her predecessor, David ‘Stability McStrongface’ Cameron:

And now, the strong one has returned with a message for all those who doubt the DUP deal’s ability to provide the SS (strength & stability) we need:

A legacy of SS

Cameron practically drips with SS – like a spit-roasted hog basting in its own juices.

In his years of perpetrating SS, Cameron managed to create very much from very little – like a gammon-faced Jesus feeding 5,000 people with nought but a ham sandwich and a packet of pork scratchings.

His achievements included:

  • The EU Referendum (albeit without any sort of plan for what would happen afterwards).
  • Continuous NHS cost savings (with no negative service impact to those who could afford to go private).
  • Making the deficit an important issue (without ever actually solving what they claimed the problem was).
  • Super improvements to employment (as long as you weren’t arsed about job security / decent pay / pride).
  • Continuous and powerful opportunities for necro-porcine humour.

What’s the pig idea?

Bearing in mind his record, David Cameron has earned the right to speak. And he has definitely earned the right to give his opinion.

It’s just that he’s also earned the right to have rotten vegetables thrown at him whenever he does.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed