DUP deal the ‘most stable’ option, says David ‘Stability McStrongface’ Cameron

DUP deal David Cameron OTP

Theresa May is famous for pioneering the dual virtues of strength and stability. But she wasn’t the inventor of these sacred British ideals. Because that distinction goes to her predecessor, David ‘Stability McStrongface’ Cameron:

And now, the strong one has returned with a message for all those who doubt the DUP deal’s ability to provide the SS (strength & stability) we need:

A legacy of SS

Cameron practically drips with SS – like a spit-roasted hog basting in its own juices.

In his years of perpetrating SS, Cameron managed to create very much from very little – like a gammon-faced Jesus feeding 5,000 people with nought but a ham sandwich and a packet of pork scratchings.

His achievements included:

  • The EU Referendum (albeit without any sort of plan for what would happen afterwards).
  • Continuous NHS cost savings (with no negative service impact to those who could afford to go private).
  • Making the deficit an important issue (without ever actually solving what they claimed the problem was).
  • Super improvements to employment (as long as you weren’t arsed about job security / decent pay / pride).
  • Continuous and powerful opportunities for necro-porcine humour.

What’s the pig idea?

Bearing in mind his record, David Cameron has earned the right to speak. And he has definitely earned the right to give his opinion.

It’s just that he’s also earned the right to have rotten vegetables thrown at him whenever he does.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Flickr

Fund our Investigations Unit

You can help us investigate corruption, expose injustice and uncover the truth.

As one of the only independent investigations units in the country, we work for you – but we need your help to keep going. We need to raise £10,000 to continue our groundbreaking investigations. Can you chip in?

The Canary Fund us

Comments are closed