Support grows for Tony Blair to ‘f*ck off and intervene himself’

Tony Blair frowning as someone tells him to 'GTFO'
Wilson Belshaw

Whenever there’s a sniff of war, Tony Blair appears like Pennywise the Clown to whisper sweet war-mongerings into the ear of anyone who’ll listen.

https://twitter.com/hourlyterrier/status/984394915340869638

This time, however, people are asking a very pertinent question. Namely:

If you want war so much, Tony, why don’t you fuck off and wage it yourself?

Disgraced and disgraceful

Anyone with half a brain knows that the Iraq war was a disaster. People with less than half a brain know that. There are probably single celled organisms with no brains that know it!

And it wasn’t an inevitable disaster either. Because it was sold to us on what can only be politely referred to as ‘total, total bollocks’.

The investigation into it by John Chilcot concluded that:

Tony Blair is a malicious and manipulative horror-puppet who sold us a fake war to impress his friend George Bush – a world famous idiot and shitehawk.

Despite being publicly disgraced for his record on military matters, Blair still sees fit to give his opinion on military matters.

This is like Sepp Blatter giving advice on ethical business practices. It’s like that co-worker who got caught wanking in the toilets lecturing you on social etiquette! IT’S LIKE TONY “WAR BASTARD” BLAIR TELLING PEOPLE TO START ANOTHER BASTARDING WAR!!!

Kickstart 

Rather than waiting for Blair to fight for his own warped principles, people are crowd-funding a plane ticket for him. The first attempt on Kickstarter had to be cancelled though, as people incorrectly thought they were paying to kick him.

Some centrists have questioned the benefit of sending an ageing disgrace into the world’s most confusing and rampant warzones.

Which is good – because it shows they’re becoming self-aware – and realising that SOMETIMES INTERVENTION ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Chatham House – Flickr

We need your help ...

The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.

Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.

We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.

Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed

Wilson Belshaw