Independent Media | Campaigning Journalism
Johnson throws his barber under the bus after Trump mocks his haircut
When President Trump attacked our ambassador, would-be PM Boris Johnson showed everyone what he’s made of. Namely by throwing the ambassador under the bus.
Johnson has made clear exactly how little spine he has. Trump – who takes great joy in tormenting the worms who wriggle around him – has been having some fun with his.
To the wolves
Trump began by mocking Johnson’s hair – a cut that’s almost as shabby as his own. The former foreign secretary immediately blamed his barber, but the spurned stylist argued:
You think I want to cut his hair like that? He comes in with £5 and a picture of Worzel Gummidge and tells me to get to work. He reckons that the crapper his appearance is, the more people forget about his overall shitness.
Trump mocked Johnson’s clothes next, prompting the man to ditch his tailor. The spurned shop worker said:
Boris always looks like a child in his dad’s suit because he won’t let me measure him properly. He just sits down in a chair and tells me to make do with what I can get at.
Family affair
The final betrayal came when Trump said Johnson himself is clearly an inferior product. In response, Johnson went on the news to say that his mother “indulged in absinthe and cigars every day of her pregnancy”.
Johnson’s parents responded by labelling him an:
Oily, brown-nosed weasel.
It’s not clear if this was an insult, as the Johnson family crest is an image of a brown-nosed weasel oiling itself.
Featured image via Flickr – EU2017 Estonian Presidency
Get involved
- For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
We need your help ...
The coronavirus pandemic is changing our world, fast. And we will do all we can to keep bringing you news and analysis throughout. But we are worried about maintaining enough income to pay our staff and minimal overheads.
Now, more than ever, we need a vibrant, independent media that holds the government to account and calls it out when it puts vested economic interests above human lives. We need a media that shows solidarity with the people most affected by the crisis – and one that can help to build a world based on collaboration and compassion.
We have been fighting against an establishment that is trying to shut us down. And like most independent media, we don’t have the deep pockets of investors to call on to bail us out.
Can you help by chipping in a few pounds each month?
Support us -
Show Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to leave a comment.Join the conversationPlease read our comment moderation policy here.
