Johnson throws his barber under the bus after Trump mocks his haircut

Boris Johnson saying: "I asked for the 'Boris', but he made me look like a drunk scarecrow." Then man he's talking to says: "Umm..."
John Shafthauer


When President Trump attacked our ambassador, would-be PM Boris Johnson showed everyone what he’s made of. Namely by throwing the ambassador under the bus.

Johnson has made clear exactly how little spine he has. Trump – who takes great joy in tormenting the worms who wriggle around him – has been having some fun with his.

To the wolves

Trump began by mocking Johnson’s hair – a cut that’s almost as shabby as his own. The former foreign secretary immediately blamed his barber, but the spurned stylist argued:

You think I want to cut his hair like that? He comes in with £5 and a picture of Worzel Gummidge and tells me to get to work. He reckons that the crapper his appearance is, the more people forget about his overall shitness.

Trump mocked Johnson’s clothes next, prompting the man to ditch his tailor. The spurned shop worker said:

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Boris always looks like a child in his dad’s suit because he won’t let me measure him properly. He just sits down in a chair and tells me to make do with what I can get at.

Family affair

The final betrayal came when Trump said Johnson himself is clearly an inferior product. In response, Johnson went on the news to say that his mother “indulged in absinthe and cigars every day of her pregnancy”.

Johnson’s parents responded by labelling him an:

Oily, brown-nosed weasel.

It’s not clear if this was an insult, as the Johnson family crest is an image of a brown-nosed weasel oiling itself.

Featured image via Flickr – EU2017 Estonian Presidency

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