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PM’s anti-independence speech is just a pro-Brexit speech reversed

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
14 March 2017
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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When Scotland called for another independence referendum, people pondered how the PM would protest. Especially as most of her arguments for Brexit are also arguments for Scottish independence.

The answer wasn’t long in forthcoming, however, as it’s already been revealed that May simply plans on using pre-written Brexit speeches and just reversing the context.

Yes/No

An analysis of the PM’s words found the following changes from her BREXIT to INDEPENDENCE speeches:

  • We can – You can’t.
  • Global Britain – Parochial Scotland.
  • Better apart – Better together.
  • Will of the people – Tunnel vision.
  • Global trading possibilities – You can’t eat a flag.
  • Jockistan – Valued member of the Union.
  • Brexit means Brexit – Brexit means exit but that’s not an excuse for Scexit.
  • EU citizens as bargaining chips – Politics is not a game.
  • Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary – Politics is not a game.
  • We didn’t make a contingency plan for what would happen if we actually voted to leave – Politics is not a game.
  • No deal is better than a bad deal – We’ll promise anything if you stay. And maybe we’ll even deliver this time!

May-day

The other problem for May is that she’ll have to publicly convince people of her argument. And she hates doing that, because she’s terrible at it.

There’ll be no getting away with turning up in Scotland and shouting at people:

No means no.

There’ll be no tolerance for repeatedly refusing to answer why Scotland should even stay.

And there’ll certainly be no getting away with the Team Fear nonsense they got away with last time.

Unless, of course, they threaten to make Katie Hopkins England’s permanent ambassador to Scotland.

Now that really would be something to fear. Or at least be somewhat irritated by. And potentially not even that if they get good at ignoring her.

So yeah – I guess the Tories have no play here at all.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via Wikimedia

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