• Donate
  • Login
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
  • Login
  • Register
Canary
Cart / £0.00

No products in the basket.

MEDIA THAT DISRUPTS
  • UK
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Skwawkbox
  • Manage Subscription
  • Support
  • Features
    • Health
    • Environment
    • Science
    • Feature
    • Sport & Gaming
    • Lifestyle
    • Tech
    • Business
    • Money
    • Travel
    • Property
    • Food
    • Media
  • SHOP
No Result
View All Result
MANAGE SUBSCRIPTION
SUPPORT
  • UK
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Skwawkbox
  • Manage Subscription
  • Support
  • Features
    • Health
    • Environment
    • Science
    • Feature
    • Sport & Gaming
    • Lifestyle
    • Tech
    • Business
    • Money
    • Travel
    • Property
    • Food
    • Media
  • SHOP
No Result
View All Result
Canary
No Result
View All Result
  • Editorial
  • Explainer
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Environment
  • Feature
  • Food
  • Health
  • Science
  • Skwawkbox
  • UK

EU ready to give UK a great deal after scolding from Nigel Farage

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
16 August 2017
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
164 8
A A
0
Home UK
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on BlueskyShare via WhatsAppShare via TelegramShare on Threads

Nigel Farage has accused EU leaders of behaving like “the mafia”. And as a follow up, he has made them an offer they can’t refuse. Which is either they give us exactly what we want, or we will not be happy!

And if they thought the UK’s complaining was bad before, just wait until they don’t even have to listen to us anymore because we disinvited ourselves from their club!

Leaving EU

People tried to explain to Farage that it isn’t the case that Britain is being given a bad deal because it’s leaving the EU. It’s actually that we were only getting a good deal in the first place because we were part of the union.

To put this in simple terms, if you joined a swingers club, you would find yourself being invited to orgies. If you left said club, it would be considered somewhat odd if you turned up at one of these orgies and attempted to peep through the windows. You know, if you attempted to enjoy the action without giving your fellow swingers a hand. If you proceeded to get yourself off while simultaneously avoiding the responsibility of having to hose down sex-swings afterwards.

Although at this point, we may have taken that analogy beyond its usefulness.

https://twitter.com/hourlyterrier/status/849553461435920384

By jingo!

Farage thinks that the EU is looking at us – as we behave with class, dignity, and not at all like we’re having some sort of nation-wide nervous breakdown – and is thinking:

The Brits must have more resolve than we expected. Just look how majestically they are conducting themselves! We’d better give them exactly what they want before they invade us with their mighty navy.

And Farage hammered this point home by telling his fellow MEPs that they’re all gangsters. Before tearing his trousers off and proudly showing them his Union Jack Y-fronts. And then singing the national anthem while only forgetting most of the words.

And if that doesn’t show them who’s boss, it’s likely that nothing ever will.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured image via YouTube

Share128Tweet80ShareSendShareShare
Previous Post

New technology could be a game-changer for the future of drinking water

Next Post

The media missed out the real reason Tories are going ape-shit over Gibraltar

Next Post
Gibraltar

The media missed out the real reason Tories are going ape-shit over Gibraltar

Nauru

Amnesty warns of 'toxic' refugee detention contracts

Syria destruction

Media outlets have let us all down with their coverage of Syria's chemical weapon disaster

Actor Orlando Bloom shines light on the victims of a forgotten crisis [VIDEO]

Rail Access Now Disability Main

A commuter was forced to 'drag himself onto a train' just to get to work [VIDEO]

farage
Trending

Farage tells unions to ditch Labour for racist Reform

by HG
9 June 2026
israeli attack>?
Analysis

Thomas Massie demands investigation into 1967 suspected Israeli attack on USS Liberty

by HG
9 June 2026
Nigel Farage and Charlotte Kelly Reform
Trending

Reform councillor quits, blames ‘sexism’ and ‘bullying’

by Willem Moore
9 June 2026
Filton 24
Skwawkbox

100 public figures demand no terror sentencing for Filton 24 anti-genocide activists

by Skwawkbox
9 June 2026
Reform politicians Laila Cunningham and Nigel Farage, the NHS logo, and Mick Lynch
Trending

Cunningham panics over Farage’s NHS privatisation plans

by Willem Moore
9 June 2026

The Canary
PO Box 71199
LONDON
SE20 9EX

Canary Media Ltd – registered in England. Company registration number 09788095.

For guest posting, contact [email protected]

For other enquiries, contact: [email protected]

Complaints and Corrections

About the Canary

Meet the Team

© Canary Media Ltd 2026, all rights reserved | Website by Monster | Hosted by Krystal | Privacy Settings

Ok

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
  • UK
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Skwawkbox
  • Manage Subscription
  • Support
  • Features
    • Health
    • Environment
    • Science
    • Feature
    • Sport & Gaming
    • Lifestyle
    • Tech
    • Business
    • Money
    • Travel
    • Property
    • Food
    • Media
  • SHOP
  • Login
  • Sign Up
  • Cart