• Disrupting Power Since 2015
  • Donate
  • Login
Thursday, May 22, 2025
  • Login
  • Register
Canary
MEDIA THAT DISRUPTS
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
MANAGE SUBSCRIPTION
SUPPORT
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
Canary
No Result
View All Result

Boris Johnson tries to woo Trump with puppet show

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
8 May 2018
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
170 2
A A
0
Home UK
319
SHARES
2.5k
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

On Tuesday 8 May, people awoke to a very depressing headline. One which suggested politicians have openly accepted the leader of the free world is a giant, TV-watching baby:

It’s the sort of headline you get in a movie when someone travels back to the future only to realise they’ve fucked something else up. And what’s worse is it didn’t even work. Which is why Johnson had to launch an even more desperate plan.

Punch and Judy

Johnson revived the perennial British favourite Punch and Judy to capture Trump’s attention. He began with a bit of old-school capering – beating up babies and crocodiles and such.

A smirking Trump clapped enthusiastically while Punch shouted, “That’s the way to do it!”

The president was then heard to remark:

Did you see how that guy did it? That’s exactly how I would have did it!

After several more instances of simulated child and animal abuse, Johnson went in for the kill.

“You see this kiddies – err – I mean, really smart guys? This is the Iran nuclear deal! But what happens when we put it in this SAUSAGE MACHINE!”

The Punch puppet placed the paperwork into the mincer, while an excited Trump shouted, “Yeah! Do it! Yeah!”

When Punch ‘tasted’ one of the linked sausages, he exclaimed:

Oh no! These sausages are bad! Maybe we shouldn’t have minced that deal after all!

No strings on him

Trump was genuinely inspired by the performance, which is why he later announced:

We’re going to build a GIANT – CROCODILE – MINCING – MACHINE! And Iran is going to pay for it!

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Christine Matthews – Geograph (image was altered) / DonkeyHotey – Flickr (image was altered)

Share128Tweet80
Previous Post

Arlene Foster hits peak hypocrisy while discussing Brexit with Andrew Marr

Next Post

The DWP is facing the mother of all backlashes over its Universal Credit claims

Next Post
DWP Logo with Stop and Scrap Universal Credit badges

The DWP is facing the mother of all backlashes over its Universal Credit claims

INEOS logo and Nicola Sturgeon

A corporate giant is taking Nicola Sturgeon's government to court over 'human rights violations'

Melanie Phillips on BBC Sunday Politics Islamophobia

A right-wing journalist is claiming that Islamophobia is a form of ‘thought control’

Right-wing activist Peter Sweden with his hands held up making circles

A far-right activist is demanding people stop messing with his balls

Isle of Man Steam Packet Ferry

The Isle of Man government just nationalised a key piece of public transport

DWP PIP work and pensions select committee
Analysis

A Labour MP on the Work and Pensions committee just threw disabled people under the bus

by Hannah Sharland
22 May 2025
Marc in hospital ME/CFS
Analysis

Autistic man with ME/CFS forced into psychiatric hospital in Ukraine

by HG
22 May 2025
Israel Starmer Macron Netanyahu
Analysis

EXPOSED: Israel itself helped coordinate Starmer and Macron’s supposed attack on it

by Ed Sykes
22 May 2025
Corbyn Nineham STWC
Trending

Rally outside Scotland Yard calls on police to “stop harassing” anti-genocide protesters

by Ed Sykes
22 May 2025
FBU has warned Labour over Nigel Farage
News

The FBU just slammed Farage – and Labour – in one fell swoop

by The Canary
22 May 2025
  • Contact
  • About & FAQ
  • Get our Daily News Email
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy

The Canary
PO Box 71199
LONDON
SE20 9EX

Canary Media Ltd – registered in England. Company registration number 09788095.

For guest posting, contact [email protected]

For other enquiries, contact: [email protected]

The Canary is owned and run by independent journalists and volunteers, NOT offshore billionaires.

You can write for us, or support us by making a regular or one-off donation.

© Canary Media Ltd 2024, all rights reserved | Website by Monster | Hosted by Krystal | Privacy Settings

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion

© 2023 Canary - Worker's co-op.

Before you go, have you seen...?

DWP PIP work and pensions select committee
Analysis
Hannah Sharland

A Labour MP on the Work and Pensions committee just threw disabled people under the bus

Marc in hospital ME/CFS
Analysis
HG

Autistic man with ME/CFS forced into psychiatric hospital in Ukraine

Israel Starmer Macron Netanyahu
Analysis
Ed Sykes

EXPOSED: Israel itself helped coordinate Starmer and Macron’s supposed attack on it

Corbyn Nineham STWC
Trending
Ed Sykes

Rally outside Scotland Yard calls on police to “stop harassing” anti-genocide protesters

ADVERTISEMENT
Analysis
Nathan Spears

Vote for the Press Photograph of the Year 2024

Image by Burkard Meyendriesch from Pixabay
Feature
Nathan Spears

Why Santiago Ways is the Leading Choice for Walking the Camino de Santiago

Environment
Nathan Spears

EU elections point to growing public desire for new policymaking approach in Brussels