Labour accused of being ‘anti-business’ for insisting employees are people too

Workers sitting on a girder above the New York skyline
Support us and go ad-free

The phrase ‘anti-business’ once had some political capital. The majority of people weren’t fighting a daily battle to survive against poverty and precarious work; many assumed they had businesses to thank for that.

Now, when people think of ‘business’, they imagine Amazon owner Jeff Bezos wrapping his hands around their neck and laughing as he squeezes the last remaining pennies out of their bank account.

As such, the idea of being opposed to some businesses isn’t all that odd. Unless you’re still living in the bubble, obviously:

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

This is why Labour’s suggestion that companies should treat their employees as human beings has caused something of a stink.

Monkey business

A gaggle of politicians, wealthy business owners, and newspaper columnists discussed the proposal on BBC Breakfast. They’d picked these guests to make sure there was a clear balance between those who benefit from capitalism-run-amok and those who lick these people’s arses.

The widely hated Mike Ashley commented:

They’re taking the piss now – everyone knows workers are just shaven chimpanzees.

Columnist Dan Hodges confirmed this assessment, claiming to have seen some of them up close:

Brave new world

If businesses like Amazon and Uber are allowed to carry on abusing their workers, then being ‘anti-business’ will be no more controversial than being ‘anti-litter’ or ‘anti-Al-Qaeda’.

It’s in the interest of most businesses that the worst companies are brought in line now. Although, if we have to eat Jeff Bezos before things change, then so be it.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via Daily Sunny – Flickr [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed