Western nations upset about Saudi murder we didn’t profit from

Saudi representative meeting the US's Rex Tillerson who has exclamation points, dollar signs, and a question mark above his head
Support us and go ad-free

Saudi Arabia is accused of killing Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi. He was allegedly killed behind closed doors, and this is a great tragedy.

After all, how on Earth is the West supposed to profit from this?

Arms

Saudi Arabia has been waging a bloody war against Yemen for years. The deaths of ordinary Yemenis aren’t a tragedy because they generate jobs and profit.

The alleged killing of Khashoggi generated nothing but bad headlines.

The Ministry of Defence said:

We don’t know what Saudi Arabia is playing at. It sounds like they killed him with clubs or something. We don’t even sell clubs! Even if we did, do you realise how many we’d need to ship before we saw profit? The damn things are reusable!

It could be worse than that, too. Maybe they just strangled him? How the hell are we going to charge someone to use their own damn hands?

Read on...

Support us and go ad-free

Panic stations

The nations that supply Saudi Arabia with weapons have had an urgent meeting to discuss these developments. The feeling is they might have been thinking about murder all wrong. Maybe – instead of charging per weapon – they should be charging per-killing-they-ignore?

That way, it won’t matter if Saudi Arabia uses bombs or hand weapons – they’ll always make a profit. 

This is why ‘Western exceptionalism’ is a thing. It’s because our ideas are always so exceptional.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via US Department of State – Wikimedia (IMAGE WAS ALTERED)

Support us and go ad-free

We need your help to keep speaking the truth

Every story that you have come to us with; each injustice you have asked us to investigate; every campaign we have fought; each of your unheard voices we amplified; we do this for you. We are making a difference on your behalf.

Our fight is your fight. You’ve supported our collective struggle every time you gave us a like; and every time you shared our work across social media. Now we need you to support us with a monthly donation.

We have published nearly 2,000 articles and over 50 films in 2021. And we want to do this and more in 2022 but we don’t have enough money to go on at this pace. So, if you value our work and want us to continue then please join us and be part of The Canary family.

In return, you get:

* Advert free reading experience
* Quarterly group video call with the Editor-in-Chief
* Behind the scenes monthly e-newsletter
* 20% discount in our shop

Almost all of our spending goes to the people who make The Canary’s content. So your contribution directly supports our writers and enables us to continue to do what we do: speaking truth, powered by you. We have weathered many attempts to shut us down and silence our vital opposition to an increasingly fascist government and right-wing mainstream media.

With your help we can continue:

* Holding political and state power to account
* Advocating for the people the system marginalises
* Being a media outlet that upholds the highest standards
* Campaigning on the issues others won’t
* Putting your lives central to everything we do

We are a drop of truth in an ocean of deceit. But we can’t do this without your support. So please, can you help us continue the fight?

The Canary Support us

Comments are closed