Thatcher ideal for £50 note as both appeal to flash, yuppie coke-heads

The yuppie character from American Psycho holding a wad of £50 notes with a picture of Thatcher behind him
John Shafthauer

The £50 note is getting a revamp, and some people think Thatcher should be its new face:

Many people object. But should they? The £50 note is the denomination of choice for bankers, coke dealers, and wankers. As such, who better to feature on it than Margaret yuppie-loving Thatcher?

Flash ah-ah 

Unlike the £5, £10, and £20 notes (which are primarily used for purchasing things), the £50 tender is designed for:

  1. Pulling out in huge wads at local shops when buying milk so everyone knows you’re the sort of person who withdraws £50 notes in bulk at the bank.
  2. Snorting coke at boring parties and then shouting, “Who’s taken my fifty? Oh wait – here’s my fifty. I thought I’d lost my fifty, but my fifty is right here. I will now use my fifty to snort more cocaine”.

Tribute

Thatcher would probably have disliked these people on a personal level, yet they’re exactly the sort of arseholes she helped to thrive. As such, there’s no more fitting tribute to her legacy than coked-up yuppies using her image to snort powderised twat-juice.

On the other hand, there’s also an argument for putting literally anyone else on it.

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Featured image via Chris Collins – Wikimedia / pxhere / YouTube

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John Shafthauer