We’ve sussed Theresa May’s cunning plan for the election. She’s hiding Boris Johnson.

Boris Johnson
Emily Apple

We really thought we had a chance. But Theresa May’s got a cunning plan to win the election. She’s hiding Boris Johnson.

Whether it’s because of his almighty gaffes or his propensity for lying, she’s keeping him under wraps. But the fact the Prime Minister feels the need to keep her Foreign Secretary away from the action at all is a damning indictment of her government.

Just send him away! Send him anywhere!

Sky News claims it has spoken to three sources in the cabinet office. And all have confirmed that Johnson will be kept away from the media to prevent his gaffes. One went as far as to joke:

He’ll be doing a lot of foreign trips in the next few weeks.

And although a further source did claim he would be part of the campaign later on, his absence so far has been conspicuous.

The joke’s on you, BoJo!

Before starting at the Foreign Office, Johnson was known for his offensive comments. And that’s what they are. This isn’t someone getting something a bit wrong. This is a senior politician making racist remarks; comments he later regretted such as “crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies” with”watermelon smiles”.

But then there are times when he has to eat his words. He and his government may be close to US President Donald Trump now, for example, but Johnson previously stated that Trump was “clearly out of his mind” and was “frankly unfit to hold the office of president”.

And it hasn’t stopped since he became Foreign Secretary. His ‘mistakes’ have included, but are not limited to, describing Africa as a country rather than a continent. And he further hit the headlines when he told Europe to stop its “collective whinge-o-rama” over Trump’s election.

Liar, liar, pants on fire

But if casual racism and gaffes weren’t enough, Boris is also a serial liar. He may have been persuasive in the Brexit campaign, but that’s probably because he would have promised the moon on a stick if he thought it’d win votes.

His lies included the infamous £350m a week that would go to the NHS. And he was still promising that the UK would have access to the free market during his brief leadership campaign.

Johnson has always had a special relationship with the truth. He was once sacked from The Times for making up a quote. He was also accused of lying to former party leader Michael Howard about having an affair. And there were further allegations that he had colluded with a friend to have a journalist “physically assaulted”. Interviewing him about these accusations, journalist Eddie Mair said:

What does that say about you, Boris Johnson? Making up quotes, lying to your party leader, wanting to be part of someone being physically assaulted. You’re a nasty piece of work, aren’t you?

And he’s our Foreign Secretary?

Yes, it really beggars belief, doesn’t it?

And for Theresa May trying to build a campaign based on strong leadership, having Johnson messing around with his toys in the corner is really not a good look. May wants tight control over her message, and that means avoiding Johnson’s stupid, offensive and misleading comments. Also, if she does win, she doesn’t want the public and the media to turn around in six months’ time and say ‘but Boris promised this’.

Even with the cunning plan to hide Boris, however, May’s Conservatives don’t have to win. We have a real chance to stand up lying and offensive politicians. And we need to grab that chance with both hands.

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