It’s no-deal Brexit or my terrible plan, claims woman who should call an election

Theresa May saying: 'People say my Chequers deal is a steaming pile of vomit, but... umm..."
John Shafthauer

After two years of dealing with Brexit, Theresa May finally cobbled together a Brexit plan. It may not be good; it may not be deliverable, and it may have divided her party, but it is – in the broadest sense of the word – a ‘plan’.

The alternative to the Chequers proposal is a ‘no-deal Brexit’. This is like trying to buy some jeans, failing to haggle a good price, and then storming out without the trousers you were wearing when you walked in.

Oh – but actually – that isn’t the only alternative. The other option is to CALL A GENERAL ELECTION NOW, YOU COWARDS!

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Shitting it

There are a few reasons why the Tories don’t want to call an election:

  1. They’ll lose.
  2. They’ll possibly face an investigation into stuff like those 120,000 austerity deaths they perpetrated.
  3. They might even be driven underground to live in the sewers like mutants.

Coincidentally, these are also the reasons why everyone else should want an election.

Tough choice

Of course, it’s prudent to ask if Labour will do any better at Brexit. The obvious answer is ‘yes’ – they couldn’t do any worse – because the party’s leadership isn’t driven by an ideological bloodlust to crush the marginalised.

That isn’t to say a Labour Brexit will be good, mind. It isn’t even to say it will be acceptable, or not somewhat horrendous.

But, it’s like the old saying goes:

Brexit is shite.

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Featured image via Kuhlman/MSC – Wikimedia / Pixnio [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

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John Shafthauer