• Donate
  • Login
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
  • Login
  • Register
Canary
Cart / £0.00

No products in the basket.

MEDIA THAT DISRUPTS
  • UK
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Skwawkbox
  • Manage Subscription
  • Support
  • Features
    • Health
    • Environment
    • Science
    • Feature
    • Sport & Gaming
    • Lifestyle
    • Tech
    • Business
    • Money
    • Travel
    • Property
    • Food
    • Media
  • SHOP
No Result
View All Result
MANAGE SUBSCRIPTION
SUPPORT
  • UK
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Skwawkbox
  • Manage Subscription
  • Support
  • Features
    • Health
    • Environment
    • Science
    • Feature
    • Sport & Gaming
    • Lifestyle
    • Tech
    • Business
    • Money
    • Travel
    • Property
    • Food
    • Media
  • SHOP
No Result
View All Result
Canary
No Result
View All Result
  • Editorial
  • Explainer
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Environment
  • Feature
  • Food
  • Health
  • Science
  • Skwawkbox
  • UK

New election pretty much guaranteed as May denies she’ll call one

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
13 November 2018
in UK
Reading Time: 2 mins read
166 7
A A
0
Home UK
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on BlueskyShare via WhatsAppShare via TelegramShare on Threads

In the run-up to the last election, Theresa May said:

Let me be clear, I will definitely not – cross my heart and hope to die – be calling another election.

And:

Let me be clear – an election I will not call!

And:

Let me be clear!

And:

CLEAR!

And:

CLEAR, CLEAR, CLEAR!

And:

I AM THE CLEAR WOMAN! THEY ARE THE CLEAR MEN! I AM THE WALRUS!

And:

STOP! CLEAR TIME!

Before finally admitting:

We’re having an election. But let me be clear, this was always part of the plan; I’ve never said otherwise.

As May has once more been clear that we won’t be having a snap election, we can probably assume she’ll call one before Christmas.

May Day 

A fresh election will be problematic for May for a number of reasons:

  1. She has all the charm of a cheese-grater.
  2. She has no new policy ideas, and everyone knows that any she pretends to have will end up in the bin – just like her last manifesto.
  3. Everything is problematic for her. She just isn’t very good at doing things.

She’ll have to call an election whether she likes it or not, though. She said she wouldn’t. And May incorrectly saying she won’t do something is the closest thing you’ll ever get to a straight answer from her.

Get Involved!

– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.

– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.

Featured image via EU2017EE Estonian Presidency – Wikimedia [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]

Share128Tweet80ShareSendShareShare
Previous Post

BREAKING: Our country just jailed these men for over a year for a peaceful protest

Next Post

A Labour MP called for a general strike and the media reaction was wild

Next Post
Laura Smith at The World Transformed

A Labour MP called for a general strike and the media reaction was wild

Trump addresses the 73rd meeting of the UN General Assembly.

After the UN greets Trump with laughter, Twitter users pile on the ridicule

Jeremy Corbyn at conference

Jeremy Corbyn only needed one sentence to nail the mainstream media at the party's conference

GCHQ headquarters in Cheltenham

British spooks admit to 'unlawfully' collecting data on privacy advocates

Gary Lineker

Gary Lineker has a brilliant suggestion to help children in the UK

Scottish parliament
Analysis

Scottish Parliament backs luxury wealth tax on mansions and private jets

by Cameron Baillie
8 June 2026
Real Madrid Perez
Analysis

Pérez retains Real Madrid presidency after first election in 20 years

by Alaa Shamali
8 June 2026
Reform James Evans
Analysis

Senior Welsh Reform politician ‘infantilises’ entire Welsh nation

by Cameron Baillie
8 June 2026
Bellingham
Global

Tuchel tells Bellingham to fight for his place

by Alaa Shamali
8 June 2026
Senegal
Global

Senegal primed for World Cup after AFCON debacle

by Alaa Shamali
8 June 2026

The Canary
PO Box 71199
LONDON
SE20 9EX

Canary Media Ltd – registered in England. Company registration number 09788095.

For guest posting, contact [email protected]

For other enquiries, contact: [email protected]

Complaints and Corrections

About the Canary

Meet the Team

© Canary Media Ltd 2026, all rights reserved | Website by Monster | Hosted by Krystal | Privacy Settings

Ok

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
  • UK
  • Global
  • Opinion
  • Skwawkbox
  • Manage Subscription
  • Support
  • Features
    • Health
    • Environment
    • Science
    • Feature
    • Sport & Gaming
    • Lifestyle
    • Tech
    • Business
    • Money
    • Travel
    • Property
    • Food
    • Media
  • SHOP
  • Login
  • Sign Up
  • Cart