Heroic Americans defeat goats

As Hollywood movies have taught us, Americans don’t lead the world for nothing. Their frontier past has filled them with a rugged courage unmatched by any other nation. This was obvious when two Americans travelled to a Scottish island to battle nature’s deadliest terror: GOATS!

https://giphy.com/gifs/goat-108Y1SMrGePEDC

Goat to hell

Goats are a well-known menace in the British Isles. Here’s a video showing a murder of goats savaging a defenceless woman (VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED):

https://giphy.com/gifs/kids-goat-humans-8dWfH52tbGErm

This goat attempts to tear a woman’s face off with its spoon-sharp hooves (VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY RECOMMENDED):

https://giphy.com/gifs/goats-karate-critters-1nnvuMqn1DMME

Goats are also well known for tenderising the meat of their prey before eating them alive (VIEWERS JUST SHOULDN’T WATCH THIS):

https://giphy.com/gifs/goats-baby-C4Ic1KXSb3yVi

Heroism is a strong word

The brave Americans who slew these fell beasts said:

It’s a real David and Goliath story. Just better, because this time America won!

An increasingly muddled President Trump also weighed in:

They’ve got real issues with goats in the UK. Big problem! Some of these suckers grow 10ft tall. My son got his first real erection slaying a goat.

Someone pointed out the UK actually has little issue with goats and sheep beyond occasional nibbling. Trump decried this as:

Fake ewes!

People vs Nature 

At the end of the day, it’s easy to make fun of professional hunters, but ask yourself this: would you have the courage to shoot a goat with a high-powered rifle from a distance of several hundreds of metres away?

I didn’t think so.

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Featured image via screengrab / screengrab (IMAGES WERE ALTERED)